This is post 5 in a 6 part series. Read post 6 HERE.
My Story
I have asked myself this question more times than I can count: where is the
value and sanctity of this contract we call marriage, if it is not enforceable?
For twenty years, I gave up my career to raise children. I managed the
household while my husband built his career in real estate. I invested in my
family, believing that marriage was a partnership, a contract, a bond that
would be honoured even if the marriage itself ended.
The Problem
But in practice, I learned a painful truth: even arbitrated agreements —
contracts that cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars to secure — could
be reopened. Settlements were treated as temporary. Certainty was an
illusion. And each reopening meant more money spent, more years lost,
more exhaustion.
The Law on Paper
Marriage, divorce, and arbitration are supposed to provide stability and
finality. Agreements are meant to create closure. Contracts are meant to be
binding. Without that, the very foundation of family law collapses.
The Reality in Court
But what I have experienced — and what many others face — is that these
agreements are not treated as final. Instead, they are reopened, re-argued,
re-litigated. And with each reopening, the sacrifice I made in marriage is
diminished further.
Why It Matters
If marriages, contracts, and settlements are not enforceable, then what is
the point? What is the value of marriage as a social contract if one party
can walk away while the other bears all the consequences?
What Needs to Change
- Final agreements must be treated as binding, not as suggestions.
- Courts must respect arbitration and settlements as meaningful closure.
- Families must be protected from endless cycles of re-litigation.
My Perspective as a Divorce Coach
When I support clients through separation and divorce, one of their biggest
fears is that they will never find closure. And too often, that fear is justified.
Until courts begin to respect the finality of marriage contracts and
arbitration awards, caregivers will continue to be punished for the sacrifices
they made in good faith.
✨ Caregivers should not be discarded. Our sacrifices should mean
something. Marriage, and the agreements that follow, must be
enforceable.
I hired Orla at a time of confusion in my divorce journey. She helped me to identify core elements of a divorce agreement, such as spousal support, child support, and marital property division. Her ultimate goal was to assist me in saving money. Her knowledge helped me to move on to each next step with greater confidence than the last one. I appreciate that Orla allowed me to move through my divorce on my own. While being there and available at any time for questions and support along the way.
This was money well spent.
Kelly
She has assisted me with my divorce process in such a uniquely caring way. Through this incredibly difficult process, Orla was able to help me navigate places where I was completely paralyzed with fear and gave me the confidence to not only move forward, but to also succeed in gaining my footing in life. She saved me from wasted fees and fruitless efforts when I was getting nowhere in my case. I cannot thank her enough. I have A friend in Orla. I highly recommend her.
When I hired Orla, everything changed for the better.
patti
cathy
I hired Orla halfway through my divorce process to provide me with extra support and understanding of the process. She helped me navigate uncertainty and explained various steps to me. She was always available when I needed her, providing a shoulder to lean on and reassurance that everything would be okay.
Now as I emerge on the other side of divorce, I am incredibly grateful to have had her by my side.